Welcome to my page!!!...This should be entertaining :) What a better place for me to ramble on and on about things! I don't know why I didn't do this sooner. I'm so glad that I finally get to be Hot Donna for something :P
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Being real.
I hate talking about the end of the world. The thought of this happening terrifies me. Even when all my wonderful friends who love the lord talk about it. It just freaks me out, and I always start crying.
We all have very irrational fears and things that freak us out, even if they shouldn't.
I have a lot.
One is, I am paranoid while driving. I always worry my car is going to blow up. I always think I have a flat tire or something wrong. There seriously isn't a time when I'm driving somewhere by myself (which is most of the time I'm driving) that I don't turn down the volume to listen to my car because I think something is off and wrong. I always just pray to God and pray for safety, and just drive as carefully as I can. And just sing to music and praise God, and always know that even if I do die or something does happen, Heaven would be better anyway. ... But still, I definitely deal with this every time I drive. To me it seriously feels and sounds like something is wrong every time.
One of the things that makes me cry, or has made me cry A LOT in the past and embarrassed me like crazy in middle and high school and even college again and again, it's like I can't even control myself my body just starts crying no matter how confident or relaxed I thought I was or was pretending to be beforehand, is speaking or singing alone in public. My body just starts crying from social anxiety. (Luckily this doesn't happen so much anymore, but there are times it still does. Times when I'm just too nervous about what I'm going to say or just too anxious. I just can't speak alone in public sometimes... used to be all the time.) Still remember how scarred I was sometimes in the past by that. It was not fun at all.
I'm really sorry that the end of the world scares you so much. That is not fun, the painful kind of fear is never fun. But I'm thankful that you are willing to be real and honest. With yourself, and with the world on your blog. Truly thankful for that. :)
P.S. Sorry this comment and a lot of my comments can get so long. I wish I didn't ramble so much sometimes. Sorry it is longer than your post. ... Shorter is better, almost all the time. Thanks for your short and honest and real post Jana. :)
We all have very irrational fears and things that freak us out, even if they shouldn't.
ReplyDeleteI have a lot.
One is, I am paranoid while driving. I always worry my car is going to blow up. I always think I have a flat tire or something wrong. There seriously isn't a time when I'm driving somewhere by myself (which is most of the time I'm driving) that I don't turn down the volume to listen to my car because I think something is off and wrong. I always just pray to God and pray for safety, and just drive as carefully as I can. And just sing to music and praise God, and always know that even if I do die or something does happen, Heaven would be better anyway. ... But still, I definitely deal with this every time I drive. To me it seriously feels and sounds like something is wrong every time.
One of the things that makes me cry, or has made me cry A LOT in the past and embarrassed me like crazy in middle and high school and even college again and again, it's like I can't even control myself my body just starts crying no matter how confident or relaxed I thought I was or was pretending to be beforehand, is speaking or singing alone in public. My body just starts crying from social anxiety. (Luckily this doesn't happen so much anymore, but there are times it still does. Times when I'm just too nervous about what I'm going to say or just too anxious. I just can't speak alone in public sometimes... used to be all the time.) Still remember how scarred I was sometimes in the past by that. It was not fun at all.
I'm really sorry that the end of the world scares you so much. That is not fun, the painful kind of fear is never fun. But I'm thankful that you are willing to be real and honest. With yourself, and with the world on your blog. Truly thankful for that. :)
P.S. Sorry this comment and a lot of my comments can get so long. I wish I didn't ramble so much sometimes. Sorry it is longer than your post. ... Shorter is better, almost all the time. Thanks for your short and honest and real post Jana. :)