They said we're lost and we don't have a choice.

I figured on my last day of being able to blog for a while, it would be a good idea to do so. Tomorrow I go to camp for the summer. Which is interesting, I mean, They are trusting me with kids. I guess I have been working with them for a while. It's really weird because I used to be afraid of kids. Now I just can't get away from them lol.


Ice Skating. I would really like to learn how to ice skate. How fun would that be? Even if I fell on my butt all the time, I feel like I would really enjoy it. It just looks so COOL! My mom apparently used to have ice skates, but I have never seen this ability to skate.

When they train you for the army...do they have a section on what to do if you are taken prisoner? I'm watching this movie with my sister and these guys in the army are taken. So I wonder if they are trained for that kind of stuff. I would be so afraid. They are very brave men and women.

What they call you doesn’t matter.  What you answer to does.
-Hot Donna

Stop categorizing yourself and don't allow anyone else to categorize you. Make it clear that you're a unique person. Labels will only limit your potential. Why settle for a fixed range of personal traits, opinions, and tastes when you can be open and free to explore everything there is to explore?

Why do our failures seem to have a voice?

One thing I love about old Disney movies is the humor in them. Like you watch them now that you can understand everything that's going on and they are just hilarious. I watched Hunchback of Notre Dame today. There was this one part where the captain said this to his horse (Achilles) "Achilles, Heel!" Oh man I got a good hearty laugh from that line. So clever. I know this isn't the only movie that Disney does this. I know in Aladdin there is a part where Genie says "Al, your Back!....and your front." bahaha I love it.

So there are three days before I go to camp. I am determined to take a nap during one of these days. I know that the second I get to camp there will be no more sleeping ha. 

Being an Advertising major I find joy in commercials and things of that nature. Well, as you all know I'm sure, I watch Twins. Anyway I really appreciate the public relations crap they do. Like always talking about the Boys and Girls club and how they support it. Or How their watering system is super high-tech because they use recycled rain water.

You are worth it ALL!

-Hot Donna

The Raven

Happiness.

        -finding your musical soul mates

        -finding something you thought you lost

        -when he smiles at you

        -spinning around in the rain

        -unexpected texts

        -feeling pretty

        -winning an argument

        -getting letters in the mail

        -noticing something you never had

        -slipping on a new pair of shoes

        -cheering something up

        -knowing everything will be okay

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I really enjoy the travel channel. Including the show Man vs. Food, a show about this guy who does a food challenge every show. I think it's pretty funny because he has this new show where Americans are doing the food challenge not him. Noticing that he has gained some weight, I wonder if that has anything to do with the new show :P

Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

-Hot Donna

All she wants is just that something to hold on to

The question of the hour:
Why do we as humans care so much about what other people think? Why do we constantly have to be pleasing other people, what is there to gain from that? I mean, I really don't think people get pleasure from sacrificing everything they are to make everyone else happy. When do we decide that it's time to concentrate on what makes us happy? To realize that being the person other people want you to be isn't necessarily what will make you happy.

It's time to be comfortable enough with yourself that you do things you want, because you want too. Not to please the world.
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I had an interesting conversation with my sister today, she was talking about her irrational love for certain people. I talked about my irrational fear of lots of things....  I looked up the definition of irrational:

"without the faculty of reason; deprived of reason."   Made me realize that I have no reason to fear most of the things I do, I have made a personal goal to get over all my lame fears. Like Calling to order pizza, Calling boys, Going through the drive through, having people in my space. The list goes on.

Don't apologize for being you.

-Hot Donna

You Better Not Poke My Face.

So I'm watching baseball. (surprise?!?!) I really think that they shouldn't be able to have facial hair. Maybe it's because I usually prefer clean faces, I also think it's more professional. Anyway, the person that sparked this thought is the pitcher for the diamondbacks... He had like a weird neck beard thing going on...It was icky. Seriously, there was no hair on his actually face, it was all below his chin. Gross.

I'm at home now, and whenever I come home I realize how things are still changing here. For some reason I think everyone should be the same as I left it. I still think my sister is a freshman...and now she is a senior :S. One of my best friends is graduating tomorrow and I can't wrap my mind around it. It's funny that I think that everything is going to be the same. The world keeps spinning, you know?

Life's short (as is this post) Eat dessert first.
-Hot Donna.

So I'm watching my friend playing Super Mario Galaxy 2 ( yes I know we have lives... :P) Anyway there are these cool star things called lumas. This brings out the total girl in me, but I would really like a plush version. I think it would be super great.

While I'm in this girly mood and talking about plushy toys. It's my lifelong dream for someone to win me something at a carnival for me. I know, I know super lame right? I don't care, every girl has weird dreams like that, no matter what they are telling you.

I had a really good chat with my mother today about over thinking and worrying. It reminded me of this saying I read somewhere 80% of the things we worry about don't even happen. So here marks the day of worrying less and enjoying life.


I want to go cosmic bowling

Lately, I have discovered bold and italics, I'm trying to regularly work them into my blogs. Honestly? I think they look super fly.

The problem with optimism is that sometimes the answer is negative
-Hot Donna

I die a little on the inside when I see someone drive by with a yankees cap on.

I love the weather these days. It's so nice and warm. My favorite part about driving in the car now days is that I can roll down my windows and feel the wind on my face. It's so weird because I hate it when people breathe on me, but I LOVE wind on my face. :)

It kind of makes me want a dog so I could go walk it haha. Only for that though, just to walk it around the block.

I want a starkiss. I must go get one before I leave town.

Because I have nothing to do these days I watch a lot of TV. I was watching this show called extreme couponing. It is so awesome! These women buy around 600 dollars worth of food and then with all the coupons they have they only end up paying like 6 dollars! How sick is that?!?!

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I try really hard...

to be accepted

to be funny

to put on a brave face

to avoid feelings

to avoid getting rid of feelings

to tell people I love them

to have people say that to me

to be happy

to believe what people say

to break down the walls I've built

to stop over thinking

to not expect the worst

to not let you down

to be the best

to not wear my heart on my sleeve

to sit and just be.

Our applause is not enough
-Hot Donna

I love Giraffes

You walked by in the nick of time, looking like an answered prayer

I'm officially alone in my apartment. It's really kind of sad. I mean we had some good times in that place. Don't get me wrong it wasn't always flowers and peaches, but I can't deny the good times I had with those girls in there. It's weird now with no furniture. Just me and my bed, at least they didn't take that. :P

I realize that when I have nothing to do I just sit and think. It's a dangerous thing, being alone and thinking. I think about how I wish people were here with me and it just makes me sad. It's pretty ridiculous because I will see them in a few months. That's why I can't wait for camp, so I have things to do :)

Her laugh broke the silence.          I feel like this is a super good song lyric. Maybe I should try and write a song. Ha Could you image it? I'm much to self conscious to show it to people bahaha. That is my question, why are people scared to show off their work? Hmm I bet it's because we live in a harsh world, and they probably would write about something super personal.

Again, my i Pod is being very mean. It's playing lots of sad, depressing music. Not very nice.

I want to ride in a hot air balloon. That would so cool! There are so many movies were they have hot air balloons and I want to go in one. :) 

The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure

-Hot Donna

Her eyes turn to green and she seems to be happy

Something that I never ever get enough of.....awesome man singing with great harmonies. Currently, some of my dude friends are playing and singing. haha I wish there were more ladies here to appreciate it. Honestly, they would be swooning :) It's super good. Men who read my blog please note that ladies dig guys that are musicians. Take Heart, for those that don't feel confident in their musical abilities, Girls will still dig you :)

Random brain topic switch, This strangely reminds me of lifelight. I Love lifelight. This Sept will be my fifth lifelight and the band who plays my favorite song ever will be there. Relient k. It will be amazing. 

Updated list of my cool words:

Preposterous. Equipped. Cheeks. Feisty. Thug. Brothel. Sultry. Squabble. Portal. squid. chafe. sheath. swallow. pickle. pamphlet. pot por ri. kinky. fabulous.concoction. oops. flesh. nunnery. raunchy. lips. sleazy. oblivious. peach duration. dungeon. serendipitous. tinkle. booger. menagerie. sass. doily. cajon. scuttle. janky.

I feel like I have an unusual liking of the word nunnery. "Get thee to a nunnery." I just love it. :)

I want everyone to know how much I appreciate you reading my blog.

Remember back in the day when I talked about how people need to listen more. I still feel this way, expecially when talking about what people believe in. Jumping down someones throat the moment you disagree with something they say is a sure way for them to never open up to you again. 

I can't stress enough how I want people to feel safe when they are around me and not like I'm a judgmental person. I feel like the best way to achieve this goal is to remind people that I'm not perfect and I don't have it all together. And that's OK. We don't need to have it all figured out. 

When I was younger everyone told me about how it was so cute that I would ask so many questions and be curious about everything. I think I have lost that a little bit, it's sad. I want to not feel ashamed to be curious again.

Asking questions is a good thing.

-Hot Donna

 

Please keep your heart, lock it tightly away

So blogger has been down the last couple of days which has really taken a toll on me haha. I can think of three times where I wanted to write a blog and it wouldn't let me on here. It was sad. 


I still have no computer, it's really hard not having one. Luckily, my roommate is awesome and is letting me borrow her tv for a week. That will help with the boredom. I hate having to ask people to let me use their computer all the time, I feel really lame when I have to do that. 
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This is my list of why it is harder to be a girl:
* Childbirth. ( I don't think I need to explain)
* Gift Every Month (Sorry boys, getting it out of the way on my list)
* Girl drama and you can't punch each other to deal with it
* Grudges held because of that drama
* We have to sit down to go to the bathroom
* We have to guess at our pant size when we go to a different store, it's not our measurements.
* Less roles for us in plays
* Harder for us to get hired at camps (they are always looking for guys...)
* We actually have to style our hair in the morning
* Cry. All. The. Time.
* Just super moody in general.....
* just wanting to be loved...(OK. So i understand that guys might feel this way as well, but I just feel like girls are more vulnerable about this...again I've never been a guy. I don't know)
* Double standards
* wearing heart on sleeve.
* waiting
* much more...
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I HATE waiting to find out what the plan is....seriously, wouldn't life be a lot easier if we just knew? Everyone always tells me the same thing, "wait because the plan is perfect and it will be worth the wait." Blah, I guess I buy that but that doesn't mean I'm OK with blindly living my life and never knowing what will happen. Think of how much time we would save. Well, I would anyway. I definitely would have saved all that time thinking about people that weren't going to be important later in life. What could I have done with that time? Or all the time worrying about switching my major and if it was the right choice. 


Waiting is tough. 
-Hot Donna

So together, but so broken up inside

I'm Hungry.

So today I checked in my laptop at the I.T. help desk at the library. This is going to make for an interesting week next week. My roommates are leaving and taking all of there things (obviously) So in my apartment I will sit, with my bed. No TV, No computer. Nothing, maybe I will just sit outside and Knit. All day. Everyday :)

I have found that knitting really is more of a winter activity. I know it's really shocking haha.  Who would have thought that people normally knit in the winter? I actually learned to knit in the summer, at camp :) I like camp.

My parents never let me go to camp as a child. My dad always said he had a "bad camp experience" and would never let my sister and I go until we were like in 10th grade. I still had to beg to go haha. It was really weird. Still to this day we would ask pop what his experience was and he won't tell :(

So my friends are crazy and we love to go do this wonderful activity called blotting. I'm sworn to secrecy so I can't say much more than it's a crazy good time. It's oddly turned into a weird initiation. Haha I think people just love to watch others struggle with not knowing. 

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Today I was sitting at the fountain, just hanging out crying. I saw this father and daughter. It was the cutest thing, I don't know what is it about father-daughter sightings but I just eat them up. I know that this is pretty lame and something that only I appreciate, but the little girl was sitting on the bench looking at the fountain and she was just swinging her little legs because her legs couldn't touch the ground. :) It was so adorable. And they walked away holding hands. Awesome. I want someone to hold my hand. I don't know how many times I can say that it was awesome, but again, it was a wonderful sight.

Lock that box quickly  Don't ever let go

-Hot Donna

I know somewhere, somehow we'll be together

Note: In my last blog I was not making fun of anyone's blog. I was trying to get a point across that sterotyping blogs is lame and mean. Feel free to blog about whatever makes you happy. I am all for it.
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 I'm sitting in the computer lab in Floria Frick...(Yes there are classes there) and some guy walks out and greets what sounds like an old friend... Then I realize that he said professor before the name, wow. How great is that? Being so friendly with professors is probably a good idea. I know when I was in the theatre department it seemed like the professors were really close with the students....well except me obviously ha.

I wonder what the theatre program is like at other schools. Do the directors have dinner regularly at a few students houses? Is there such favoritism? Do people only focus on the "few who they think want it the most." I wonder if there is a place anywhere that actually works with everyone, and gives everyone a shot. That surely doesn't happen everywhere.

This oddly reminds me of working with kids. One thing I feel that was stressed was "Don't favor any children even if you want to." I've been very blessed in my adventures with different kinds of kids. You favor some of them and you miss out on the awesomeness of the other kids. I think that is the same everywhere. You only let certain people lead your show, you will miss out on variety a different person brings.

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I feel like college is a weird stage of life. People are trying to figure out who they are, who they want to be, and if they are OK with others defining them. I have heard of people who come to get there MRS degree. ha I really enjoy that saying. My mom told me that one. Some people are here to party, well hey that's cool. I feel like it's a really expensive party. Most are here to gain more knowledge so they can actually get a job in our declining economy. 

I lose sight of that sometimes. I forget that I am here for school. I get caught up in the friendships or all the shiny free things they give away. It's hard to balance all of that. School, work, friends, it's tough. I blame my inability to keep relationships on my over-thinking and my expecting the worst. I wonder if it's maybe my fear of the future. Scared of the unknown. Scared that people won't be there, maybe that's the real reason for my being sad at the end of semesters.

I know it's completely lame to think that way, because we always talk about how much we care about each other and want to be friends forever. "It's about enjoying now, because if they are meant to be in the future they will be...."    That just doesn't sit well with me I guess. I like knowing.

Do you think people who are introverted are that way because they think there is less hurt that way? Nobody to betray you or break your heart? Nobody that you really need to please because honestly there aren't very many people in your life to begin with. 

Maybe it's just a matter of depending on the right people, and not trusting everyone you meet with your deepest thoughts.

Guard your heart, for it affects everything you do.

-Hot Donna

How does she know?

I love sterotypes about blogs. They are so funny...NOT

1. Ranting. "I hate how many people think that my blog is just a place where I come and talk about how much people piss me off. Seriously why can't they understand that this is how I feel and I need a place to talk about my problems and get them off my chest."

2. Being Deep. "Clearly my blog is a place for deep thinking, and thought provoking questions like what came first the chicken or the egg? Seriously people think about the children because they are our future and we must teach them well. How do you feel about starving children?"

3. vacation trips. "Today we went to the beach.....again. And well, we were still laying in the sand. OH! I went in the ocean for the third day in a row...." 

4. Only about  Politics.  "well today in america the stalk market was down 2......Osama is dead.

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Now that I have offically made my blog just like the sterotype I feel.....Lame.

I hope my blog doesn't turn into a rant of all my problems haha, just a place to collect all my thoughts.

Today, I found a piece of chalk and I was super pumped because well 1. it was purple 2. it was free 3. I could now write on sidewalks and lots of fun things. :)  It makes me want to play hopscotch, to bad campus won't let you use sidewalk chalk. Did you know that? Also, if you advertise with chalk for your event, you have to have it approved by someone, I forget who. 

I remember last year these girls did this awesome chalk drawing in front of dahl and the school washed it all away. I would be so upset if that happened to my work. That drawing was really cool too. I felt bad for the girls who did it.

Broad, is this sea
-Hot Donna

Oh tryin' so hard, to let down my guard

I miss blogging everyday. So I think I'm going to do that until I go to camp, because obviously I won't be able to blog while I'm working with little kids :).

I love getting breakfast at Perkins. I bet it is something that Perkins is known for, but getting breakfast at breakfast time?! It's the best. I remember once when going to state dance for my sister, my dad and I left to go "Look at cars" and we ended up at perkins. We had breakfast, I remember when we went back mom was a little upset that we didn't take her with us, but we brought her back a muffin. 

Now I really want to go get breakfast there, I love the french toast. It is bomb. So good. Perkins is also  good at 4 in the morning after a Harry Potter release. :) I love it. That was a fun night. Got in to the theater right away, didn't have to wait outside. I was expecting at least an hour out there, but we got to sit down right away. :)

So I really don't know how I feel about Lady Gaga lately. I mean I absolutely hate our easily her songs get stuck in my head. I listened to her new song Judas....I don't know how to feel about it. The video was weird, and I just don't know what I think about it. Maybe that's the point, maybe it's just to get everyone thinking about her and her music. I just don't know. Sorry I can't take a stance on it, but I just think it's all weird.

I really like the born this way song just because it's all about loving yourself and being you. I all about that, so I dig it. Someday I want to do my face all crazy like she does hers haha I think it'd be fun.

I have never seen a smiling face that wasn't beautiful.

-Hot Donna

Turn right, into my arms

I feel like finals week shouldn't be so chill. In the movies and stuff they always are freaking out and nobody sleeps for weeks before hand. Honestly, I have sleep a whole bunch and hardly have studied (Sorry Mom). Plus, you go to the final period and stay for like 20 mins because that's how long it takes you to take the test and then when you are done you can leave....and wait three hours til your next final.

This Book Buyback crap is a joke. I complain about this every semester, but I still am to lazy to figure out how to sell online. What you get 10% of what you actually paid for these books.... It's dumb. I think what makes it worse is they always have the same people at the buyback stand. There is this guy that I always get stuck going too, and for some reason I think he rips people off more than the other book buyback people.

This new phone business is always fun. I enjoy having a new phone...but there is a huge issue. 1. I don't know how to set up voicemail and 2. I don't know how to change my text ring tone... Man it really sucks. I consider myself fairly technologically capable. Now all of the sudden I can't even figure out how to change my text ring tone? there is a issue here. Or maybe it's the same thing for both... Idk. I must test this. YAY! I figured out my texting business. Now I only need the voicemail thing...I think something is messed up with my phone because it asks for a name and junk instead of taking me to the voicemail place...

Oh hey I figured that out too YAY for using my brain.

Here is a fun fact about me. I Hate Ordering Pizza.

Just to clarify a few points, I love pizza, love it eat it, smell it, see it. There is just something about the actually act of calling to order pizza that freaks me out. I can't stand it. I would rather get in my car and drive there to order it than call.... 

Face the rain

-Hot Donna

I looked hot today, you missed out.

This morning when I was in the bathroom (where I do my best thinking) I was struck with genius. I realized how awesome it is to be a girl. This is a big deal, because usually I just think about how easy it is to be a guy, how they have it so much easier. Today was different, it was about how cool it is to be a chick. We get to smell nice. (Don't worry guys, some of you smell nice too.)  I'll be the first to say that it sucks, because it does. I mean how many people would willingly sign up for intense pain once a month, and having dramatic friends. Ahh to live in man world where you can just beat up a guy and then the next day be friends again...That would be fabulous...

Tomorrow my phone is switching service...I know EVERYBODY wants to hear about that. I'm really happy about this because this was suppose to happen back in January. So it is an exciting time in Jana's life.

So. Bin Laden. Dead. I watched the president speak last night. I was freaking out when I found out, seriously. It was like, OH MAN I HAVE TO WATCH THIS BECAUSE I'M A MASS COMM MAJOR AND I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS. I was just thinking, that we all should have watched it because we are American. I know a lot of people don't care, but why don't they care? I mean this is news that effects them too. 

I love when I get mail. I got some awesome mail today :) A package I ordered and some mail from RW. It was a good day for mail.  Hey everyone should write me letters while I'm at camp this summer!!!! It would be super awesome!

In a world of cheerios dare to be a fruit loop!

-Hot Donna