What does building a longer table look like - or what does generosity look like... and how do you know if nobody will take advantage of you?

I am tired.

patience

girls,

don't tell your boyfriend if the ring you want is on sale.... he probably feels like you don't trust him to take care of it.

also -- don't project your own thoughts onto your boyfriend lol

republic

welp, my choice for Senate lost -- and that is rough.

I always just worry about safety for loved ones.

legacy

I just want to echo my posts from a few days ago and i don't want people to remember me by whatever my political views are... i want them to see God working when they see me. 

is that selfish? maybe. 

oops

Well, I already missed a couple days lol - hard to form new habits anyway-

yesterday the new small group leader got engaged. and I think it proves that God has a sense of humor. As I've been buzzing around having hope for my own engagement. That kind of slapped me in the face and brought me back to reality.

at first, I was sad because I wanted to be the one to share the excitement with our group. but it made me realize that I was kind of turning this whole getting married thing into an idol, which is pretty lame.

Interesting how easy that stuff can happen without you knowing.

#NaBloPoMo Day One

So I'm going to try my hand at blogging every day of November.

Today I was driving to work and the song Only Jesus by Casting Crowns came on. It's unexpectedly convicting. The words talk about how everyone tells you to make your mark and leave a legacy and then it gets to the chorus...

And I, I don’t want to leave a legacy
I don’t care if they remember me
Only Jesus

So at this point, I'm sitting in my car thinking about all the things I've heard that have told me to think about the legacy that I will leave. And I think of being a good role model and being a leader and then this song slaps me with lyrics about not wanting a name for myself, or not caring if they remember my name. 

and it hurts honestly...

I'm still trying to figure out why these lyrics get under my skin. I'm sure it's mostly pride. Disappointment. But I'll keep exploring and growing. 


Here's a link to the song --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXIBP2BdYR8