Something I don't understand

Why is it that negativity spreads like a wildfire?    It's like once you are lost in it for so long...you don't realize how much better your life would be if you just thought it was better.

Everyone always has those sayings like "if you wanna be happy. Be."  Apparently it's a lot harder than that.

I've just been noticing a lot of that negative-ness around me lately...myself included in that. I try to be the positive light, but it's hard. 

I don't know if it's a culture thing, or a brain thing...but it's like once someone brings up something sad.... we are all trying to "out sad" or "my life is more terrible because of this"  

What would it take... to change that.... I don't know.

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I think I have also discovered the reason why I want school to be done now. 

Religion.

I know I know, Jana you crazy... but just stick with me on this.

I am just really tired of it being such a barrier. I hate that people look down on you if you say you believe in God. I hate that people are always judging others. I hate that people feel like they need to live up to something.

I hate that there are people that say I'm not "into" worship anymore. That really made me upset.  I just wish we could go back to how it used to be. We were there because we loved God...and people recognized that.  

-Jana

Running

So I was chatting with a friend about this book study I have been going too.

Man, he just knows what he believes, it's really something to admire. Don't get me wrong, I think it's totally great...but it really made me want to run away. I just want to escape all of it. People with their strong opinions make me feel like I don't know what I think...not that they try too. It definitely happens tho.

What would it be like to run away and no longer have any worries or cares?

Is that what it's like to be married....you just run away from the world.... and then deal with life as it comes?

Anyway my friend said some pretty beautiful stuff... like when I asked him if he was scared of dying he just shrugged it off... I couldn't believe it... I am totally scared of death. And then he said this  "It's just like going home"  --- I thought it was beautiful.

We also talked about how much has changed in the last four years and it's really true. We have all grown into very different people. Some of us will run off to do missionary work. Others are going to more school, or even getting married...

It's just really odd to think about how this time in our lives is almost over...